♥ Just So You Know

I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know
How to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know
How to make a feeling stop

Just so you know
This feeling's takin' control
Of me and I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let him win now

Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go
Of you but I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know

It's gettin' hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other away

This emptiness is killin' me
And I'm wonderin' why I've waited so long
Lookin' back I realize it was always there
Just never spoken

I'm waitin' here
Been waitin' here

this song just hit me right on the spot. but i did promise
myself that i'll shut my mouth before i say something
i'll regret. someday i'll just look at this and say
something like "good for you" or just laugh it off. well,
i sure hope so or die trying. xP

♥ Best Foot Forward

while doing some searching within myself, i've found the answer that i've been looking for. i won't hide anymore, i'll be forging up ahead. i think it is time for me to move forward with my own two feet. i won't hesitate anymore. if i stumble and fall, i'll pull myself up. i think it's time to look toward the future, i'll leave the past behind and i will not be looking back now. i've been deluding myself in thinking that i can change the past, now i know it can never happened.

in regards to my feelings, i am now surer than ever that everything i feel is true. however, i think that i'll just keep it to myself. i don't want to confuse him anymore since i know that he is already happy. some people might say that i'm being such a martyr but i found that his happiness is much more important than my own and i don't want to feel happy in expense to other people's pain. i know how it felt to be left behind, so i don't want someone to feel that same feeling. now I've realized that I’d rather have everyone hurt and betray me instead of the other way around.

♥ The Scarlet Chair

You're so precious to me..
that I can't even begin to put it into words..

~ King Lucaria ~