my life isn't really in shambles but i have to say it is pretty much in a limbo. it might not be by choice however, you could say that because of some decisions i had i ended up being stuck in this place. back then, i didn't actually mind. right now is a different story. 

i've never been the clingy type (well, i think so) but when i look at my life closely i did figure out that i actually am, not in the sense of intimacy or even on objects or even on people, more on stuff that i did not do. yes, this is where the "things-i-should-have-done" and "things-that-i-should-have-never-have-done" comes to mind. i seem to really get stuck on those regrets; regrets that i should have voiced this thought or regrets that i should have done this instead. they keep on running and running through my head that i seem to forget that i should be living my life as of right now. i so wanted to move on and forget about those but it seems as if that whenever i took a step forward after that i took one step backward in which i end up not moving at all. i end up having nothing and getting stuck. it is so hard and frustrating but i can't help it. i am aware of the problem yet i can't do anything about it. i wanted closure on some stuff in my life. i wanted it so badly i could taste it. 

i sure hope that one of this days, i'll look back at this and say: "finally". i promise myself that i will keep on trying until i succeed. so till then, i need to bear it.