♥ You Should Know By Now

You ought to know by now,
Love is the look in my eye;
Lovin' the way you smile when I say,
"I wish you would stay."
You bring out all the youth in me,
I laugh and cry out all the truth in me,
Out o' love.
You should know by now.

Haven't you felt by now
Just what it's like to be loved;
Knowin' that certain touch when you're sure
Time won't give you more.
You bring out all the best in me;
I wanna hold you till you feel the need
Somehow,
You should know by now.

If I could just find the words,
I wouldn't be left so lonely;
I'm your one and only.
Then I'd show you how
Ev'ry move as smooth as silk,
Say you will; say you will.

Hasn't it crossed your mind
Haven't you known all the time
Honestly tell me now,
Has it shown?
How much love has grown;
The way I tremble at the sight of you.
I want to learn to love you through and through,
This I'll beg.
You should know by now,

♥ Shocking. LOL.

 today is a totally different day. while surfing facebook i stumbled upon a friend's facebook wall (not saying whos wall is it). anyway, i just got curious and decided to read some posts there and it just shocked me. as in totally shocked me. imagine my surprise that this individual which i've known for a year or two actually say or more like write stuff like that. he's just am.. way too much cheesy for my peace of mind. *lol* i'm not really sure if that's the appropriate adjective to use but that's the only thing which comes to mind right now. i mean, i don't have anything against how he treats his girl but really he should have just said those stuff in private message, in person or even in private chat instead of putting it in both of their walls. oh my, but some of those stuff he said is way too personal to be mentioned where anybody could stumble upon it without meaning to. my perception of him totally made a 180 degrees turn because of all the posts he made. it's just utter mind boggling. he almost gave me the creeps. man, i don't know if i should tease him or scold him on what he said or had written there. he truly made this day unique.

♥ D. Grayman

I soon came to the point where

I didn't know whether my smiling face

is a lie or not..

~ Lavi ~

♥ Holibelle Uncovered

someone asked me: "why are you using holibelle as a nick?" actually the username that i usually use is Raine, but since that name is so common, i had a hard time. whenever i sign up for forums and such that name was already being used so i was always asked to change it. i hate using numbers in usernames since there are times that i seem to forgot what numbers i did used. so one time while surfing for something to watch, i stopped at an anime channel (forgot what it was) and the show was Ah! My Goddess. the name Holy Bell (i think its Belldandy's Angel) was mentioned and that name got stuck into my head for some reason. then one day, while signing up for a forum i just typed that name as a username. well, i was asked again to change the one that i picked (hahaha. got you there) so i just change the Y into an I, added E to Bell and made the two names into one - holibelle. i was thinking that i'm gonna be asked to change it again for sure but imagine my surprise when i wasn't. the rest as they say is history. now, you all know why holibelle is stuck with me. however, i'm not sure why that name isn't popular. for some reason, whenever i sign up for something that name is always available and in the end, i end up using it. it's a blessing since i don't need to think of another username. hahaha.

♥ The Ghost Of You

Summer's ended and without a trace
Time goes by - while you remain
Funny how I thought I walked on through
With my heart in one..

Why do I still cry for you
Dying to get close to you
And why do I still fear to face
The ghost of you..

How I tried to get you off my mind
But you return - all the time
I believed I could just let you go
Like the fool I am..

I've been trying to release you
To get my feet back on the ground
Still I need my hope to hold on to
Even if I know I should back away
It's just a part of me that I can't erase..

Anyway I try I'm still reminded
The ghost of you..
Anywhere I go I keep colliding with
The ghost of you..
I've given up I just can't fight it
The ghost of you..

Everytime I look away I see
The ghost of you.

i dedicate this song to mister birthday boy.

i know that he would not read this blog 
so i have the courage to put this here. *laugh*
someday, i may probably have a chance to point this 
song and say that i dedicate this to him 
or maybe sing it to him personally.

♥ Feelings

there are times that i tell myself that it's okay, no need to take it to heart. some feelings just needs time to be truly known and some feelings has to be let go but feelings has never has been an easy thing to understand. feelings are fragile and a lot more complicated than i credit it for. like for example, i just laugh it all off when they tell me things about him. however, deep inside i know it hurts. it even hurts more when he just ignores me like i don't even exist. however, all i can do is to ignore the hurt and focus on the brighter side of life. i should be thankful that once in my life i've been a part of his and he has been a part of mine so i shouldn't be feeling quite pitiful. i should just smile and be strong. however, this doesn't mean that i'm gonna give up. it doesn't matter if nothing changes. all i know is that i'll stand firm and won't budge no matter what awaits in my future.

♥ Ghost in the Shell

here from behind my sight, my thoughts, my mind..

show from the light, the time is right
and from the depth within show the balance
of outer and inner harmony..
mind and heart, soul and spirit undivided
here's where the true strength and beauty lies
we'll see this before us with our own eyes
we'll see, with our own eyes.. LOVE..

~ Living Inside the Shell ~

♥ Haircut

it's been about two years since i last had an haircut so i was thinking that it's probably about time that i had one. true, i love my long hair but i need it styled for this coming new year. eherm.. okay, i mean i need it for a new image or for a new beginning. well, i don't want it too short so maybe two to three inches will do. i'm still undecided whether i'm going to have bangs but i know that i want it colored. i think that mahogany red would suit me since i did have that hair color when i was in college and i have a feeling that it would really suit me. yeah, so i think i'll do that.

anyway, i just discovered that i can't hold that much liquior anymore. unlike when i was in college, i could best my college buddies in their we-should-get-drunk-til-we-pass-out session. now, i only can take about two to three san miguel light. if i drink much more than that.. well.. you don't want to know what happens. hahaha. that's what the price i had to pay for not drinking for almost three years. it's not that it's something bad but i think it's a good thing that i can't drink too much anymore.

♥ Me. You.

Me fine. You fine.
We fine. It's fine.

Me warm. You cold.
We alone. It's beating.

Me here. You there.
We apart. It's sad.

Me wants. You afraid.
We together. It's waiting.

Me yours. You can't.
We stare. It's hope.

Me tries. You don't.
We expect. It's belief.

Me thinks. You forget.
We silent. It's waste.

Me shakes. You wait.
We touch. It's pretty.

Me longs. You come.
We stay. It's great.

Me knows. You know.
We know. It's known.

credits to the one who made this poem.
sorry, i forgot where i got this.

♥ Last Exile

I ran..

And left the most important person behind..

~ Alex Row ~

♥ Back on Track

after of almost a week of sickness, i finally felt fine. it was one hell of a week since i am not the type of person who usually gets sick. amm.. to tell you the truth i seldom get ill so when i do it felt like all the sickness i was suppose to have just came rushing in one stroke. i feel as if i got thinner because of fever, flu and cough so i have to eat plenty just to get back into shape. well, not to mention that all my plans for this week was wreck. urggg.

another thing is that the site in which i usually download ebooks was shut down due to copyright issues so now i don't have any idea where am i going to download my books. i'm an avid reader so this is quite a problem. what utter bummer. on a good note, i found a site where i can download any anime series as much as i want so it's not a total wreck week. good thing cause i was thinking that this week was a total jinx. wahahahahaha! anyway, i started watching Prince of Tennis again just to avoid boredom and stared to reread Christine Feehan and Julie Garwood's books. well, things are turning out better than i hope for.

♥ Just So You Know

I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know
How to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know
How to make a feeling stop

Just so you know
This feeling's takin' control
Of me and I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let him win now

Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go
Of you but I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know

It's gettin' hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other away

This emptiness is killin' me
And I'm wonderin' why I've waited so long
Lookin' back I realize it was always there
Just never spoken

I'm waitin' here
Been waitin' here

this song just hit me right on the spot. but i did promise
myself that i'll shut my mouth before i say something
i'll regret. someday i'll just look at this and say
something like "good for you" or just laugh it off. well,
i sure hope so or die trying. xP

♥ Best Foot Forward

while doing some searching within myself, i've found the answer that i've been looking for. i won't hide anymore, i'll be forging up ahead. i think it is time for me to move forward with my own two feet. i won't hesitate anymore. if i stumble and fall, i'll pull myself up. i think it's time to look toward the future, i'll leave the past behind and i will not be looking back now. i've been deluding myself in thinking that i can change the past, now i know it can never happened.

in regards to my feelings, i am now surer than ever that everything i feel is true. however, i think that i'll just keep it to myself. i don't want to confuse him anymore since i know that he is already happy. some people might say that i'm being such a martyr but i found that his happiness is much more important than my own and i don't want to feel happy in expense to other people's pain. i know how it felt to be left behind, so i don't want someone to feel that same feeling. now I've realized that I’d rather have everyone hurt and betray me instead of the other way around.

♥ The Scarlet Chair

You're so precious to me..
that I can't even begin to put it into words..

~ King Lucaria ~

♥ Whatever It Takes

A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better

But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over

♥ by Bob Marley

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There's never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are.

The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

♥ Tsubasa Chronicles

Even if I lose this feeling,
I'm sure that
I'll just fall in love you all over again..

~ from Syaoran to Sakura ~

♥ Memory Lane

while sitting in front of my laptop and listening to music i remember this senario i had with my cousin, Cecil. this happened when i was still in Qatar and i was still new to the place. since our work hours were different from each other and our work place were somewhat about 20-30 minutes walk from each other then i had to go home by myself (only noons) and sometimes the driver can't drop me home. she told me that we're gonna walk around with my other cousin Mark so that i won't get lost and i have to remember the landmarks. so yeah, we did walk around.. went to a nearby supermarket.. ate dinner and other stuff.. well, i was like looking around and trying to remember my way home nonchalantly. she kept on checking me out and was making weird faces and i was thinking that she probably thought i was just fooling around and not taking it seriously. but really, i had everything worked out in my head.. then we went home.

while we we're outside our place, both her and Mark were smoking.. she probably can't take it anymore and asked me if i can go home without their help now. i said, "yeah, pretty much.." she kept on asking if i really can and i kept on saying that i really can. then she asked me how can i, if i remember any landmarks which can tell me if i'm going the right way home. i said: "yeah, i remember a billboard and that tells me i have to go right.." she looked at me with disbelief written all over her face and then she asked: "what if the billboard was taken down?" i was like: "hell, i didn't think of that.."

the good thing was that the entire time that i wasn't familiar with Doha that billboard wasn't taken down.. the poster was changed a couple of times but the billboard wasn't removed. now that i think about it, my answer was pretty dumb. i don't know what i was thinking. but really it was quite hilarious.

♥ Digicam? hmmm...

i was looking through some of my friends facebook account when i saw some cool photos which they took. it made me so envious that i started taking pictures using my camera phone. i was rather irritated though that i wasn't able to take photos which satisfies me so it made me think that maybe i should buy a digicam. i might benefit from buying one so i probably should. i do like taking pictures of scenery and stuff, though i have to admit that i don't take photos of myself that much. hmmm.. it probably is a good idea so i'll canvas first and try some cameras before buying one.. yeah, i should do that, maybe my creative drive will kick again.

♥ Hopeless Feelings

this might be weird but the guy that i'm inlove with, i'm not really looking forward in seeing him after so many years. it's just that i don't have enough confidence to see him face to face especially now that he has someone else. i mean i already know that this feelings i have for him are bleak but i don't want it to smack me in the face and know for a fact it is d*mn HOPELESS. i know that it's unfair that i'm kinda like blaiming him for not returning my feelings back but i think that since i already acknowledge what i truly felt for him, it's my responsibility to keep it contained. i don't want him to feel guilty so i guess i have to avoid him and not to talk to him as much as possible.

on a lighter note, i had my picture edited. i like how it turned out. here it is..

♥ Too Blind

from the song "Only Reminds Me Of You."

♥ Love

i was browsing through Mark Goshingtian's Tumblr when i saw this:

When my sister was younger she came home from school one day and demanded I take her to the library so she could get books on sign language.

I asked why? She told me there was a new kid at school who was deaf and she wanted to befriend him.

Today I stood beside her at their wedding watching her sign “I DO”.

taken from LOVEgivesmehope

i was really touched by it. this short statement made quite an impact in me.

♥ New Outlook

right now i think i have a much more positive outlook than i had in my entire life. i had a heart to heart talk with someone who probably is the most important person in my life and it somewhat made a lot of my hung-ups acceptable. true, things didn't turned out the way i hoped for but i was a bit happy. the thing is i realize that as long as he is happy, everything seems quite insignificant. it occurred to me that the person i was running away from is actually the person i've been looking for this entire time. how ironic for me to notice it when it's already too late. however, i think that i don't have any regrets right now. the only thing i can do for him is to become his shield.. his pillar to the best of my abilities. so, i'll just wait for him to settle down and be absolutely happy then that's the only time that i can move my best feet forward and truly make peace with myself.

♥ So Called Art

the quote isn't mine, just the graphics. if anyone is asking.

♥ The Undeniable vs.The Unexplainable

A: Why do you believe in God?
B: I just do.
A: But the existence of a god can't be proved by science, yet you still believe?
B: Yes, I do.
A: I think that's just absurd, believing in something that can't be explained.
B: Well, you don't have to be able to fully explain or understand in something to be able to believe in it.
A: How so?
B: Do you know how an airplane works?
A: No.
B: Do you ride airplanes?
A: Yes.
B: Why would you ride an airplane if you can't explain how it works? The fact is, there is something undeniable - and that is that airplanes fly. You don't need to be able to explain why or how they fly. You just need to know that they fly. I believe in God because, yes, it might be unexplainable, but it is undeniable. It has changed my life. The undeniable always beats the unexplainable.

♥ I'm Letting Go.. Goodbye

..goodbye to you
goodbye to everything i thought i knew
you are the one i loved
the one thing that i tried to hold on to..

♥ Troublesome

lately i've been feeling more and more dissatisfied with myself. i don't remember being content anymore. its weighting me down.. dragging me down to oblivion.. almost into nothingness. i think i'm starting to break down. how troublesome. i wasn't like this from the start. i don't know when it started, i just notice that i'm feeling like this.

i don't want to drag anyone into this mess that i find myself. i guess it's better to distance myself from everyone. i don't want anyone to feel the same way that i'm feeling right now. it's just too horrible. i know being by myself can be lonely but i think it's better this way, neh? even if people thinks that i'm selfish or they don't think highly of me, it's for their own good.

i hope that someday i'll drag myself out and i'll be able to stand up from this. i pray that i'll do.

♥ Broken Angels

its alright.
i can still walk.
i can still stand on my own.
i can live facing this world..
..which has made me who i am.
even through the pain, and the sadness..
..i still remember everything i love.

~ Fujiwara Sunao ~

♥ Losin' the Love

There are days when I regret it
The things I said to you
I put my trust in no one
It broke my heart and I blamed it on you
You are kind and oh so gentle
But I refused to see
That someone like you existed
I was somewhere in denial
While you were loving me

I cried myself to sleep last night
When I woke up
There were tear stains on my pillow
It hurt so much to sacrifice what I gave up
Without you in my life
I will always feel lonely
Losing the love
From someone like you

Not a day goes by without something
Reminding me of you
The truth is that I miss you
It gets so hard not being with you
There are times when I go crazy
In the twilight of the night
How I long to be your woman again
There's a pain that I hold
That will not let me go

I don't wanna make this too hard
But I just wanna be where you are
In your life, by your side, forever

♥ Summer 2010

yesterday, my cousins and i went island hopping. i had the best time. i hope to do it again one of these days. anyway, here are some pictures that we had. ^_^

♥ Character Profile

Last Name: Mogami
First Name: Kyoko

Gender: Female
Hometown: Kyoto
Country of Origin: Japan
Birthday: Dec 25, 1982
Hair: Black to Red/Orange
Eyes: Topaz
Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
Occupation: Actress
Company: LME
From the Manga: Skip Beat!

♥ Loneliness

while sitting in my room looking at monitor and thinking what should i write in my blog,i realize that i'm quite lonely. it made me look outside my window and it made me think that i am alone. true, i have my family around me and i have friends to chitchat with but something is just missing. not companionship, not love and not something tangible but something more meaningful. i'm not sure what exactly it is but i know deep down that it is something not unimaginable. probably a purpose in life. or probably someone.

i just don't know.

someday or one of these days i'll might find the answer to that something. however right now, i just have to bear it.

♥ TCP

If I'm behind you,
Then I can't protect you.
I want to stand where you do.
If you tell me not too,
Then I won't stand in front of you.
But at least...
Let me stand next to you.
I'll stay by your side forever.

I won't let you die before me.
I won't die before you.
I won't die after you either.
When we go,
I'd rather we go together.
So that even if I die,
I can remain here beside you.

~ From Tsukasa to Ryuji ~

♥ Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

♥ Urggg.. Just Great

someone asked me: "Are you a Catholic?". i readily replied that i'm not. honestly, i seem to get a *raised eyebrow* or a laugh whenever i answered that question. it kept me thinking that something might be wrong with my answer. really, i'm proud of my religion. i mean i don't have anything against other people's beliefs. i respect them for it. for me, believing in something even if it might be different from what other people think is quite admirable. so okay, maybe sometimes my tongue gets itchy and i want to enforce some of what i think but i tend to hold it back. i know it's hypocritical to do that but i'm that type of person. so it pissed me off that they don't respect my own beliefs.

urgg! not more negative thoughts. haha. anyway, i'm just blowing off some steam so i apologize if someone is angry with my thoughts. gomen, gomen.

♥ Aw

i've been busy reading mangas for the past weeks. i seem to be enjoying doing it. i even neglected playing facebook games because of it. so the problem right now is that it seems i've run out of mangas to read. i don't like to read ongoings and there's not enough completed mangas out there so i'm feeling sad. :(

i hope i could find some interesting completed mangas out there. wish me luck. :3

♥ Dengeki Daisy

In this world,
I fear her the most..

In this world,
I want her more than anyone else.

~ Kurosaki Tasuku ~

♥ Hahaha

i didn't do anything productive today so it made me think about some things about me. well, to tell you the truth i never been comfortable of taking my pictures. i don't know why but for some reason i cannot fathom i have this aversion on taking mine. yeah, you could actually see an occasional picture of mine but never that much.

♥ Win

Dark is the night
I can weather the storm
Never say die
I've been down this road before

I'll never quit
I'll never lay down
See I promised myself I would never let me down

So I'll never give up
Never give in
Never let a ray of doubt slip in
And if I fall
I'll never fade
I'll just get up and try again
Never lose hope
Never lose faith
There's much too much at stake
Upon myself I must depend
I'm not looking for a place ashore
I'm gonna win

Won't stop me now
There's still a ways to go
Some way somehow
Whatever it takes I know

I'll never quit
I'll never go down
I'll make sure they remember my name 100 years from now

When it's all said and done
My once in a lifetime won't be back again
Now is the time, for me to stand
Here is my chance, that's why

♥ Something To Think About

MY SHORT ESSAY ABOUT THE PHILIPPINES

Jaeyoun Kim

Filipinos always complain about the corruption in the Philippines. Do you really think the corruption is the problem of the Philippines? I do not think so. I strongly believe that the problem is the lack of love for the Philippines.

Let me first talk about my country, Korea. It might help you understand my point. After the Korean War, South Korea was one of the poorest countries in the world. Koreans had to start from scratch because entire country was destroyed after the Korean War, and we had no natural resources.

Koreans used to talk about the Philippines, for Filipinos were very rich in Asia. We envy Filipinos. Koreans really wanted to be well off like Filipinos. Many Koreans died of famine. My father & brother also died because of famine. Korean government was very corrupt and is still very corrupt beyond your imagination, but Korea was able to develop dramatically because Koreans really did their best for the common good with their heart burning with patriotism.

Koreans did not work just for themselves but also for their neighborhood and country. Education inspired young men with the spirit of patriotism. 40 years ago, President Park took over the government to reform Korea . He tried to borrow money from other countries, but it was not possible to get a loan and attract a foreign investment because the economic situation of South Korea was so bad. Korea had only three factories. So, President Park sent many mine workers and nurses to Germany so that they could send money to Korea to build a factory. They had to go through horrible experience.

In 1964, President Park visited Germany to borrow money. Hundred of Koreans in Germany came to the airport to welcome him and cried there as they saw the President Park . They asked to him, 'President, when can we be well off?' That was the only question everyone asked to him. President Park cried with them and promised them that Korea would be well off
if everyone works hard for Korea, and the President of Germany got the strong impression on them and lent money to Korea. So, President Park was able to build many factories in Korea. He always asked Koreans to love their country from their heart.

Many Korean scientists and engineers in the USA came back to Korea to help developing country because they wanted their country to be well off. Though they received very small salary, they did their best for Korea . They always hoped that their children would live in well off country. My parents always brought me to the places where poor and physically handicapped people live. They wanted me to understand their life and help them. I also worked for Catholic Church when I was in the army. The only thing I learned from Catholic Church was that we have to love our neighborhood. And, I have loved my neighborhood.

Have you cried for the Philippines? I have cried for my country several times. I also cried for the Philippines because of so many poor people. I have been to the New Bilibid prison. What made me sad in the prison were the prisoners who do not have any love for their country. They go to mass and work for Church. They pray everyday. However, they do not love the Philippines. I talked to two prisoners at the maximum-security compound, and both of them said that they would leave the Philippines right after they are released from the prison. They said that they would start a new life in other countries and never come back to the Philippines.

Many Koreans have a great love for Korea so that we were able to share our wealth with our neighborhood. The owners of factory and company were distributed their profit to their employees fairly so that employees could buy what they needed and saved money for the future and their children.

When I was in Korea, I had a very strong faith and wanted to be a priest. However, when I came to the Philippines, I completely lost my faith. I was very confused when I saw many unbelievable situations in the Philippines. Street kids always make me sad, and I see them everyday. The Philippines is the only Catholic country in Asia, but there are too many poor people here. People go to church every Sunday to pray, but nothing has been changed.

My parents came to the Philippines last week and saw this situation. They told me that Korea was much poorer than the present Philippines when they were young. They are so sorry that there are so many beggars and street kids. When we went to Pasangjan, I forced my parents to take a boat because it would fun. However, they were not happy after taking a boat. They said that they would not take the boat again because they were sympathized the boatmen, for the boatmen were very poor and had a small frame. Most of people just took a boat and enjoyed it. But, my parents did not enjoy it because of love for them.

My mother who has been working for Catholic Church since I was very young told me that if we just go to mass without changing ourselves, we are not Catholic indeed. Faith should come with action. She added that I have to love Filipinos and do good things for them because all of us are same and have received a great love from God. I want Filipinos to love their neighborhood and country as much as they love God so that the Philippines will be well off.

I am sure that love is the keyword, which Filipinos should remember. We cannot change the sinful structure at once. It should start from person. Love must start in everybody, in a small scale and have to grow. A lot of things happen if we open up to love. Let's put away our prejudices and look at our worries with our new eyes.

I discover that every person is worthy to be loved. Trust in love, because it makes changes possible. Love changes you and me. It changes people, contexts and relationships. It changes the world. Please love your neighborhood and country.

Jesus Christ said that whatever we do to others we do to Him. In the Philippines, there is God for people who are abused and abandoned. There is God who is crying for love. If you have a child, teach them how to love the Philippines. Teach them why they have to love their neighborhood and country. You already know that God also will be very happy if you love others.

That's all I really want to ask you Filipinos.
(FOR THE LOVE OF OUR COUNTRY PLEASE PASS THIS MESSAGE TO ALL FILIPINOS YOU KNOW)

♥ April is Coming

we just had our new wireless internet connection today. i was kinda disappointed though. i was thinking that it'll be like our old internet connection but it was much too slower. back then, i can download a 95MB file for about 30 minutes but now i takes around 2 hours. how's that? yeah, we don't have wires now but this is the price we had to pay for that. *sigh* anyhow, if this still keeps up today or tomorrow i'll probably won't be playing online games as much as i used to. >.<

♥ TinierMe

i'm playing a new game online again. this one is called tinierme. there's not much to do with this game but dress up your selfy (it's the name of your character or maybe a pet). it's just something to do when i'm tired of thinking or reading or even watching television. i'll post some pictures of it tomorrow. i'm too lazy to do that today. well, i'm off. haven't taken a bath yet.

♥ Anime

i keep on forgetting those animes that i really like, so i've decided to make a list here hoping i would never do that again. i'll just update it from time to time.. xD

12 Kingdoms
Ayashi No Ceres
CardCaptor Sakura
Detective Academy
Detective Conan
Eyeshield 21
Fairy Tail
Fate/Stay Night
Full Metal Alchemist

Ghost in the Shell: SAC

Ghost in the Shell: SAC 2nd Gig
Gundam Wing

Gunslinger Girl

Hikaru No Go

Hunter X Hunter

Initial D

Kyo Kara Maoh

Knock Out

Ninku

Prince of Tennis

Shaman King

Tenjou Tenge

Tsubasa Chronicles

Witch Hunter Robin

You're Under Arrest

♥ An Rpg Game

i was crossing my fingers while copying and pasting the link of Aveyond: The Lost Orb (it's the latest). i really really like this game so i was like thinking that Rapidshare has to let me download it or i'm gonna throw my laptop. thank goodness that it worked. i was able to do it. *dance around*. now, the only thing i have to do is wait for the walkthrough to come out and i'm all set. it'll probably be in my hands in the next few days. dang! i can't wait to play it. >.<

♥ Dear Diary

Dear diary,
Something good happened today
He finally called me by my name
I didn't know how to behave
What to say or do
I was so confused

Dear diary,
I wanna talk to him again
But whenever he is with his friends
He keeps trying to pretend
But I already see
The way he feels for me

What can I do?
Tell me what can I say
When do I let him know I feel the same way?
How can my feelings be so hard to show when
I really want him to know

Dear diary,
He wrote some letters on his hand
It wasn't hard to understand
I figured I'm part of his plans
But now I'm in his heart
I don't know where to start

You're my secret hiding place
Where my private thoughts are safe
And just one look and he will see
What's inside of me

♥ If

i saw an old flame's photo yesterday. he still looks as good looking as ever (maybe more so) and it had me thinking that if we never parted what would have happen. i probably had a kid or two by now and i might have a different life than i have. its kinda scary and a bit, i don't know, trilling when i think about that life that would never be mine. since i always like kids i'm feeling a bit sad when i saw his child. that might have been mine if things turned out differently.

oh well, GOD probably never design that life for me so i'm having this one right now. there's no use dwelling in things that can never happen. i'll just live my life the way it is and let GOD direct me in the path he wants me to.

♥ Year 2010

hey yeah 2010. i just decided to go back to school this year to take up a master's degree. i might have some problems being back to school since i'm not use anymore in studying and stuff but i'll do my best. i know that this will be beneficial to my future so i'll try it. who knows this might be the right thing for me. so i'll just cross my fingers. :p